Super Important answers to Less Important questions

Now it’s time for some questions I asked my super smart elephant who appears when I drink enough beer shots with paint thinner chasers.  His name is Harold and he's the smartest hallucination based friend I have.

Why didn’t Wile. E. Coyote try buying from someone besides Acme?

Because they were in a dictator economy.

Does Batman’s cape ever get tangled up?

Only when he’s off panel.

When Spider-Man has organic webbing where does his body store the excess?

It’s his blood.

Why don’t we go to the moon anymore?

Because the moon sucks, Jupiter is where it’s at.

Who would in a fight; Thor or Satan?

The real winner is the viewer of that pay per view match.

If reincarnation is true are there cows walking around like people?

Yes, but cows hate themselves which is why we have cow tippers.

What is the best combination of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

Grape Butter and Peanut Jelly.

Is there anything that everyone agrees on?

People agree that other people falling down is always funny.

Is the Lord of the Ring series good PR or bad PR for wizards?

Mostly bad since Sarumon was a dick and Gandalf became a series of internet memes.