Dear people who scrawl on the wall of the bathroom,
It’s obvious you
hate anyone different from you. Everyone
has different ways to relax, but your method of relaxation tends to hurt others
in their most intimate moments. I would
like to make a request, and I think it’s fairly reasonable.
Please leave the stalls alone. We have the internet so you have no reason to
etch your rage into the paint of the bathroom stall. Little kids and adorably naïve people use
that bathroom, and you’re ruining public pooping for them.
How much effort does it take to etch dirty words into the
stall wall? One would have to imagine it
takes a considerable amount of effort to express that hate. Wouldn’t it be much easier-and I imagine more
satisfying-to simply scream obscenities at someone different form you in
public?
If I may, I would like to make suggestions for alternate
things to do when you wish to defile another bathroom wall. I have the top choices in a handy to read
list below.
1 1. Origami
2 2. Read
a book
3 3. Sing
“Happy Birthday” to the poop you are butt birthing.
4 4. Think
about the rise of the common man against the bourgeoisie versus the
proletariat.
5 5. Just
eliminate waste
If you could be gracious enough to consider these activities
before scratching into the stall wall, it would be greatly appreciated. I believe I speak for everyone who uses
public restrooms that we have enough to deal with between strung out junkies,
spilled urine, and paper towels that don’t actually dry your hands.
So, in conclusion, please stop writing and scratching dirty
words into our bathrooms. Thank you for
your time and patience, and have a wonderful day.
Respectfully yours,
-Blake T. Hunt
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