Thursday, January 26, 2012

10 word movie reviews

Why wade through an entire lengthy review of a movie wen you really just want a blurb about it?  Welcome to your fantasy come true!  Here are some reviews on movies that I give you in only 10 words!

Batman Begins
Bats kicks ass, looks awesome, thanks Chris Nolan.  Bat swarm!

Captain America
Holy shit Chris Evans kicks Nazi butt.  Eat it Superman.

British criminals fight for diamond.  I would watch it again.

Boondock Saints
Irish brothers fight crime.  Also “fuck” is a versatile word.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
"I’m trapped in a glass box of emotion!"  Brick’s retarded.

The Kingdom
Foxx and Beil fight Saudi terrorists.  Pretty hardcore, but preachy.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

3 movies within movies

When I watch a movie I notice how some stories never get told.  Stories involving characters that have almost NOTHING to do with the main story.  Well I'm here to give these unimportant and pointless characters their due.

Movie: Ferris Bueller's day off.
Movie in a Movie:  Free Wheelin'

Remember when Ferris, Sloan, and Cameron arrive in the city and they leave the car in a parking garage?  Only to not see the attendant leave in the car to drive around with his buddy.  That movie in a movie chronicles how the twoguys hang out one last time before they have to go their separate ways (military and family problems).  It's a touching comedy about friendship, making every minute count, and host nasty speed in a convertible.

Movie: Batman Begins
Movie in a Movie: Bruce's Billions

So Bruce Wayne acts like a dick so people don't figure out that he's Batman, which is clever, but not Bruce Wayne's idea.  Bruce inherited his father's money with one caveat: spend it all like crazy and act like an asshole to friends and family.  It's basically Brewster's Millions, but with super heroes.

Movie: Little Nicky
Movie in a Movie: The Life and Troubles of Gatekeeper

So when Gatekeeper pisses of the Devil (or whatever) Devil gives Gatekeeper boobs on his head.  Thus kicks off the Woody Allen style dramady as we follow Gatekeeper in his day to day, now with tits on his head.  While we're along for the ride we learn to love to hapless Gatekeeper as he learns to love his new head nipples.