Ten Reasons to not trust Aliens

10. Aliens probe you.

9.  Aliens will never pay back that money they owe you.

8.  Aliens stay up late playing Call of Duty at full volume while you're trying to sleep.

7.  Aliens never offer to help move even though they can transport matter instantaneously.

6.  Aliens fucking probe you.

5.  Aliens always arrive late and make you miss the previews to movies.

4.  Aliens use their horrible appearance to scare little kids.

3.  Aliens leave a tiny bit of milk in the carton.  Not enough for cereal or coffee, just enough to make you mad.

2.  Aliens say rude things about you to your face, but in their alien language so you don't know until you translate it online later.

1.  ALIENS PROBE YOUR ASS WITHOUT PERMISSION!  THAT'S INTERSTELLAR RAPE!

Close encounters of the jerk kind.

Everything posted here is for fun and not intended for malicious use.  Thanks to whatever site I got the picture from for not raising a fit.

How to Beat the Heat

Well it's that time of year again.  The Spring is done and Summer is bearing down on us like a grizzly that smells your peanut butter sandwich.  It's hot outside, but here are some handy tips on keeping cool you might not have thought of yet.

-get naked
-sneak into the freezer at your local supermarket
-get a bad flu that gives you the chills
-develop Iceman like mutant powers
-join Cobra and create the weather control machine
-move to where penguins are from 
-sleep on bags of ice
-don't move ever
-piss off various nations with nuclear deterrents and usher in a nuclear winter
-destroy the sun


I hope these hot tips keep you nice and cool all summer?  And if they don't help you out, then feel free to go fuck yourselves.  I have an ice bag bed to go to.

Better than a box fan