How to Beat the Heat

Well it's that time of year again.  The Spring is done and Summer is bearing down on us like a grizzly that smells your peanut butter sandwich.  It's hot outside, but here are some handy tips on keeping cool you might not have thought of yet.

-get naked
-sneak into the freezer at your local supermarket
-get a bad flu that gives you the chills
-develop Iceman like mutant powers
-join Cobra and create the weather control machine
-move to where penguins are from 
-sleep on bags of ice
-don't move ever
-piss off various nations with nuclear deterrents and usher in a nuclear winter
-destroy the sun


I hope these hot tips keep you nice and cool all summer?  And if they don't help you out, then feel free to go fuck yourselves.  I have an ice bag bed to go to.

Better than a box fan