Friday, September 23, 2011

Guest Writer or Apologies for being absent

Hey folks sorry I've been not posting lately, been swamped with, well, nothing, I lied about being busy.  But I'm getting back on schedule with a posting schedule for Fridays and Tuesdays starting today.  And to beg forgiveness (and to cut down on pauses between posts) I've brought on a fellow blogger to help with the workload.  And now for his premier post, Murray Fitzsimmons!

Hello folks, I'm Murray Fitzsimmons, the world's foremost 81 year old blogger.  I'm here to complain about technology and set you little s***s straight.  Let's get to it!

10.  FML
People have been one upping each other comparing how crappy their lives are since the fifties, and now there’s a website dedicated to the task.  Now if something terrible happens to you can share it with the entire world.  Never mind trying to be the best, now fame can be achieved by making your life as sad as possible.  Confound internet with its high speed hate rays.

9. Lolcatz

If “Planet of the Apes” don't happen, “Planet of the Cats because people are stupid” definitely will.  People croon and gurgle over pictures of cats and look their minds.  It’s like watching someone who, after years and years of eating lead paint chips, finally gets hit with the effects of colored poison.  When I had a cat back in 1920, I trained the f*** out of that cat, and it was a f***ing cougar!  Moving on.

8. E-mail
E-mail is the new snail mail.  How did that happen?  When did regular mail become to terrible?  People tweet full emails more than they email.  I've literally been told in person “I don’t use email, text me the info”.  NO!  Email is not slow, it’s e-mail!  Electronic-you know what, never mind.  I can feel my blood getting hotter, I’m stopping here.  Damn sciatica. 

What a waste of moving pictures.
I like that bands are putting themselves on the YouTube to promote themselves.  That’s actually very cool.  I hate how the other 99% of videos on YouTube consist of a mix of the following: fat kids, fat adults, falling down, pranks, animal videos, soft core porn, awful web series, bike crashes, car crashes, occasional skateboard mishaps, and terrible audio and video of a TV show recorded on a crappy cell phone camcorder from a bad TV during a party.  

6. Twitter
The main thing I hate about Twitter is how many characters I’m allowed to write.  Seriously, how is anyone supposed to get any message acros

Stay tuned, or, actually tune in next Tuesday for the second half of Murray's post.  

All images and websites mentioned are owned by those companies and websites.  I don't claim to own any rights and I only use them in jest because they're so cool for not suing me thanks!

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