Thursday, April 26, 2012

Why Super Powers Are Bad


Oh yeah flying is awesome until you lose concentration and fall to the ground at top speed becoming people pulp upon impact.  You know what else is in the air flying with you?  Planes.  And what do planes have?  Engines.  And what do engines do to everything?  Grind everything into bloody goo.  Also now the plane is going down and now everyone can land a plane with one good engine due to flying jackass.  Way to go buddy, you’re as bad as a terrorist.  Plus people hate birds, and now you’re like a bird.  We hate you now.

Super Healing 

Think Wolverine but without the claws.  How great would it be to never suffer a permanent injury?  It’s so awesome that we should celebrate by calling out sick and going to the beach.  Oh, wait, you can’t call out sick because the boss knows you never get sick.  Now you have to lie and say your grandma’s dead.  But the joke is still on you because she visits your job the same goddamn day!  Hooray, you’re impossible to kill AND fired.  Plus grandma is mad at you for saying she died.  Goodbye birthday money, you dick.

Spider-Man Powers

These are fine.  No issues with spidey powers, go nuts.  It’s the one right answer.

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