Drunk Review: The New Facebook

Welcome to the review segment where we at Super Chip Cookie find out what can and can't be done while under the influence.  We give you detailed (usually) and well written (not really) reviews for the drunks who want to surf the web or operate a peeler.  Write in for anything you want reviewed!

Ok so I drank like 7 or 8 beers and then I’m thinking yeah, I wanna get online and awkwardly hit on a female friend I knew in high school, but let me tell you that goddamn newest Facebook while drunk is like a labyrinth.

I went to play my favorite Facebook game Farmville.  You know, waste a few hours of my life.  Turns out you have to find it on the side bar and making it a favorite link was not working.  So I spent about an hour Googling how to find Farmville, though in my current state (hammered) I spent more time watching videos of puppies playing in dirt.

So I eventually find Farmville, I play, no one’s fertilizing, whatever.  Turns out being wrecked and trying to handle Facebook is a damn nightmare.  Someone messaged me, but it took me over thirty minutes to find the message, I kept clicking that one chick’s picture but it brought up a bigger picture and not her profile, and I won’t even get into the madness that was signing off for the night.  I’m pretty sure I’m still signed in.

So in summation, if you’re going to get on Facebook after having several beers, I would recommend against it.  Not only is the site hard to manage under the influence, it’s even tougher when they update the site and my drunk self doesn’t remember it.  If you’re going to get drunk and write to your friends, make it NOT Facebook.  Otherwise you end up messaging your dad about how you’ve always loved his “glorious rack”.  Ugh, I’m changing my Facebook info and hiding under a rock for the rest of my life.

-This review is not claiming that Facebook is hard to navigate, so back off Zuckerberg.  Also it's not entirely factual, it's for fun, and don't drink until you're old enough kids.-