Thursday, March 8, 2012

An Open Letter to Retail Customers

Dear retail customers,

     I understand that you think you need your book, video game, Apple device, or whatever else you’re throwing money at this week.  But you would be able to make your purchase in a faster and smoother transaction if you took a few steps of preparation before entering the store.

     First know what store you’re walking into.  If you want accessories for an iPad, you’re not going to find it in a bookstore.  If you want a printer, don’t go to a clothing store.  If you want to buy a book, don’t bother even entering a store that sells video games.  Retail employees ask so little, and one of those little things could be you reading the sign before you walk in.

     Second, employees have no control over any store policies.  If you yell at a cashier that the hours don’t work with your schedule, nothing will change.  Not even the manager in all their power can make any major change.  If you hate the design of the store, shut up.  If you think the selection is bad, shut up again.  Shop elsewhere if it bothers you that much.

     Third, returns are meant to be done when you either bought the wrong version, there’s a built in defect, etc.  Don’t ignore the speech we are obligated to give about receipts and return policies.  If you get home and decide to eat your receipt, don’t get mad when we can’t take the item back.  Registers are limited to the point of making them the retards of the electronics kingdom and can’t find your purchase from over 24 hours ago.  Side note: don’t let your pets chew on the device and then try and return it, we won’t and can’t take that back.  Just saying.

     I hope that quick rundown of what not to do sinks in, although unless I attach arbitrarily complex coupons you’ll never read this. 

Happy Trails,
Blake T. Hunt

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