Friday, August 26, 2011

The owner of a jam store gives a pep talk and bad news to the staff.

Ok people, listen up.  Here is the game plan.

It’s going to be a tough Christmas season here at “Jams n Things!”  As you may have heard the latest shipment of  jam hit a patch of black ice and careened off of a bridge.  The jams were incinerated as they were being shipped along with gasoline and matches that can be lit on any surface.

So what does that mean for our store?  It means we’ll have to work extra hard to sell what we have left.  That’s right, we have to push the ”Things” part of our store name.  That includes jars, cards, spoons, gift cards, and action figures of our mascot, Bernard the Jam Man.  I know most people only come in for the jam, but I think we can help them make smart purchases that have nothing to do with jam directly.

Your shift supervisor Katie has drafted a script that I want all of you to memorize.  This is a last resort to if they say no to the jars pr spoons.  I won't read it aloud, but I would like to point out that it does NOT include the phrase “Please don’t leave”.  That comes off as begging, and we want-no, we need to give the impression that we are confident in the remaining wares we have.

As for the secondary shipment, that did arrive safely, which means we have an immense overstock of Bernard the Jam Man action figures, including the Christmas Jam Blaster model.  Now I know you need jam to make the Jam Blaster work, but we can certainly promote the toy anyway.  And before you ask, no, it only works with jam.  Jelly, peanut butter, liquids, or any other food stuff will not work, and will actually BREAK the Jam Blaster.

So in conclusion, we are going to be facing some hard times, but I believe in this store, and I believe in the staff even more.  So let’s get out there folks, and sell some jam themed products!
Also, Jenny?  Sorry, but you’re fired.  If anyone else needs me I’ll be in my office crying.

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