Sunday, August 12, 2012

My Arguments for the Apocalypse

There has been talk about the end of the world and that's all well and good, but I like to think we're so damn pampered and squishy that "end of the world" means "no more internet".  That means the Earth will keep spinning but the shifts would be tremendous.

First off money will mean nothing.  Capitalism will end, bringing the super rich down to the level of normal people.  They will desperately try to barter their Armani suit jacket for half a chicken and a can of green beans.  Hollywood will crumble within a month.

Second, people will get to know their neighbors again.  No longer will we be strangers to the people who we walk by in the apartment halls.  People will band together through neighborhoods, raiding the local grocery store and murdering raiders together.

Third, humanity will rise up as the top species again.  Right now anything from the following list can kill an average human: bears, sharks, crocodiles, bees, a pack of cats, a well aimed hot dog, and the sun.  If we're forced to survive and have access only to home grown vegetables and the meat we kill ourselves, the human race would be in peak physical condition.

Fourth we'll have imaginations again.  While I am a huge fan of television and the freedom the internet offers, so many people waste their lives in their digital tombs.  We keep shitting out remakes and sequels that lessen our scope of thought.  The real trick to creating is restricting yourself.  Give yourself a ceiling so you can break through it.

So there is a summation of why the apocalypse wouldn't be such a bad thing.  Also Mel Gibson would get to live out being Mad Max.  So yeah, it's a win for everyone.

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