Sunday, August 26, 2012

What bothers me about Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

So Scooby-Doo was about a group of teens driving around with a great dane that could talk.  Never mind how they paid for gas or food, and I accept they hit up laundromats to keep their one change of clothes clean.  But the dog clearly talks and NO ONE acknowledges this as weird.  Old men run around in tiki monster costumes, but the talking dog never sparks conversation?

Also if the group just left Shaggy and Scooby in the van, the plans to catch the ghost/mummy/possessed armor would go much smoother.  Except for those times when the trap doesn't work and Scooby being a stoner doggie saves the day somehow.

I think the question isn't if Scrappy-Doo was doing coke, but HOW MUCH coke was he doing?  Seriously he was rarin' to go and he was maybe the size of one of Scooby's paws.  I won't believe he was a strategist, but I would accept that he was doing some heavy shit in that van.

So in The Jetsons they lived in cities way up on poles.  How many people fall off the sides?  What happens when the flying cars run out of gas?  I'm almost one hundred percent certain that the cars drop into the nothingness and the mortality rate in that world is fairly high.  

The Flinstones got it right.  They got by with talking appliances. That is an America I want to be a part of.

Would Quick Draw McGraw need to re-tune his guitar with each attack?  What do you mean "Who is Quick Draw McGraw"?  Go fuck yourself.

How did no one see that mild mannered janitor Henry was in fact Hong Kong Phooey?  He was the only fucking dog in the entire universe in that cartoon.  Are the humans retarded to the level of not knowing the difference between a talking dog and all the humans?  I mean Hong Kong Phooey is a talking dog in a karate Gi and a bandit mask.  Henry the Janitor is a talking dog.  Dammit people Henry is Hong Kong Phooey!

Yogi Bear.  He constantly disregards the authority, Ranger Smith, he eats all the picnic baskets, and causes hijinks all over Jellystone Park.  Ranger, get some guns and fucking waste that bear.  He's a BEAR!  He nees to be hunted and brought to justice.  Then served to visiting dignitaries.  

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