Monday, September 24, 2012

There is no Tooth Fairy

There is no Tooth Fairy.

There is no Tooth Fairy.  There is no tiny pixie hovering over your bed taking your discarded and unwashed teeth.  There is no tiny mythical being who places money where your tooth once was.  There is no magical being who gets inside your room, under your pillow TWICE only to escape with your loosed molar, eye tooth, or incisor.

There is no district warehouse for various Tooth Faries to deposit their nightly haul of teeth.  There is no foreman who checks the teeth, discards the bad teeth and allows the good teeth to go on the Tooth Fairy truck.

There is no foul home where a team of Tooth Fairy scientists and dark wizards take all of the good teeth taken by the hordes of Tooth Faries.  There is no evil plan to merge science with dark magics to create something called "The Final Solution" in the tooth fairy community.  There is no final solution in the tooth world where a terrifying Tooth Golem is constructed.

There is no Tooth Golem that would roam the planet, devouring people and destroying homes.  There is no plan where the President of the United States will have to press a blinking red button to nuke the Tooth Golem.  And there is absolutely no chance that the Tooth Golem will survive and continue to wreak havoc on  a world ripped apart by nuclear fallout.

So don't bother looking for the non existent tooth fairy that is playing a small but vital part in what will eventually become the downfall of man kind under the rule of the Tooth King.

Now rememeber, there is no Tooth Fairy.

Can you smeeeeeeeell the tooth conspiracy?

No comments:

Post a Comment